Hey there

Like the title of this journal says, everything is different now. My boyfriend broke up with me a week ago, saying that he needs someone he can see everyday, and not just once a week. He was really nice about it, but it didn't make it any easier. Then the next day, I found out he already has a new girlfriend. Doesn't even mourn me for a day. What kind of guy does that? *sigh*.....he really confuses me sometimes. Throughout our entire relationship, one moment he seemed like a nice guy who really loved me, then the next he would say or do something that made me wonder if its actually true....or if he is really just a jerk.....

I know I'm better off without him. There was no way I could marry him....I know in my heart he isn't the one for me. Our lifestyles and look on life is so different. But I can't help but miss him....I feel so lonely.....there is just something missing and I can feel it aching in my chest. Its almost like someone took my security blanket away, and now I feel vulnerable and alone. I went through all this crap last year....I don't want to go through it again. But I guess that's just how life goes. I know I'll be fine, its not going to be like last year but.....I just have to get used to my life being this way.

I'm friends with Alex, my ex from last year again. My friend Colin got us talking a while back. I'm happy it happened, I was sick of things being all blah between us. I remember in an old journal entry I said I would never forgive him for what he did to me last year. I don't care about last year anymore. As far as I'm concerned, its almost like it never happened. I have no desire to hate him anymore.

My desire to do art has completely died. I don't have the time or energy to draw anymore. I'm hoping at at some point in my life I can go back to drawing, but who knows. I doubt it will be anytime soon.

As for Deviantart.....I'll probably comment and look at Devations every now and then, but that's about it. I'm sorry to have drifted so much, but thats just the way things have to be. Thanks to all of you who took the time to read this.

Thanks for reading!